I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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