spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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