How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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