Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
