Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
