"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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