i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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