it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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