im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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