I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
