But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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