I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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