Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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