i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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