I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
