you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
