it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.