she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.