omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.