we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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