My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Mom said you looked used
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
