I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
