dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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