I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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