My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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