I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Someone came in the potted fern
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
