and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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