i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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