Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize