I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
