The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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