You smell like a Billy Joel song
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
