Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
