Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
