Having a random hookup so left but love u
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
