I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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