uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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