He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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