Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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