I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
