He had one of those small greek statue penises
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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