I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
