I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
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My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
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We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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