3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
