3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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