I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize