I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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