I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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