Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
