then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
