listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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