oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
