They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
