Just cropdusted the office
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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