And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
