It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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