Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
