even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize