we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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