Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
